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Throwback: Amsterdam February 2016

Earlier this year I took advantage of a university society trip heading to Amsterdam. Despite having only traveled within the UK with family, and to Spain and France with school my desire to travel and explore is quite high. At £150 for travel and hotel I really could not say no. So, despite the looming university deadlines and all my reading, myself and a few friends set off at 10pm on a Monday night for a night of travelling.

Honestly? I was not prepared for the cold I would experience on that bus trip. I wore shorts and tights so I could easily curl up in my bus seat but I really wasn't protected against the minus temperatures we were travelling through. The bus driver claimed the heating was on but I'm still suspicious. 

So, after 12 freezing hours we finally made it to our destination! Stopping outside the Heineken factory we had a short walk to our hostel. After quickly changing and deciding none of us were tall enough to reach the top bunk (why wasn't there a ladder?) and moving out mattresses to the floor, we stepped out to explore the city. 

We made it to Amsterdam! Tiredness was so real here
but Amsterdam was so pretty we didn't care

Admittedly, the first thing we did was find coffee - travelling on a coach for 12 hours meant none of us had had any sleep the previous night!

Instead planning in advance what landmarks we wanted to see, we chose to just walk around and see what we could find, The first place we stumbled across (after consuming all the coffee) was the flower market AKA Bloemenmarkt! An area dedicated to selling flowers, cheeses and bread with smalls cafes located in between different buildings. Here we stopped for lunch and tried a Dutch food item - Poffertjes which were like tiny fluffy pancakes. We then continued to walk around our new location, popping into different cafes, museums and shops.

Poffertjes!

Aesthetic AF. The little cafe we had lunch in on the first day

The second day started with hostel breakfast, consisting of pretty bad coffee but excellent granola and yogurt. A local cat also joined us for our meal so who can complain really?

This was the day where the history nerd in me was truly let loose. At 9am we set off the Anne Frank Museum (which was absolutely incredible, and 100% worth the two hour wait in 1°C temperature.

This was after an hour of waiting. Three of us started doing star jumps to keep warm.
Members of the public stared. We were too cold to care

We made it

One cheese toastie later, we moved on and went to explore the Royal Palace and explored the history of Royalty in Amsterdam. 

Safe to say the Palace was extremely fancy.

We never got to go to the Van Gogh museum but our souvenir trip
almost made up for it. 

That night, we walked for about 5 miles trying to find somewhere to eat (turns out restaurants close around 8pm in Amsterdam). Finally, we found a pub-like extablishment that allowed us to eat around 9pm. Pretty sure we were sat in the middle of a woman's birthday party but she did not seem to mind. Here, I was probably given the biggest veggi burger I have ever consumed in my life. As I was absolutely staving this was an excellent thing.

The next morning saw our departure from this brilliant city. The second twelve hour bus journey was spent sleeping and praying for my bed.

I 100% have future plans to go back to Amsterdam, and every other European country I can get my hands on. Two days living as a tourist was lowkey stressful and extremely rewarding. Maybe next time, I'll stay for more than two days though.

How to feel like a sophisticated human being

Sometimes, I remember that technically I'm an adult. Like a fully functioning adult with jobs and responsibilities.

Then I watch helplessly as my burrito filling falls onto the table, and realise that it's a nice representation of how I'm dealing with adulthood right now. It looks okay but really its just a mess with everything falling out a little bit a time. Little bit grim and terrible but alas, I have come to the conclusion that every adult is a burrito. Everyone is faking it. Everyone.

Okay maybe not everyone but when you still feel like your stuck in 2010 you need to think these things to get you through the day. Adulthood is ultimately a myth and I may only be nineteen but I have had to conquer adult tasks like laundry, talking to an estate agent, buying light bulbs, and paying a lot of money to end up in some serious debt when I'm older.

When I was younger I thought this would feel differently, I'm not entirely sure how but I still feel about 15. However, let me tell you, there are tricks to making you feel older. Here's a list of what I've discovered makes me feel capable and deserving of the vote.

1. Polo neck jumpers. 
Oh boy, a good high neck does wonders for the confidence. The sophistication that washes over your body once that material touches and, more importantly, stays on your neck is unimaginable. I can do ANYTHING wearing a good high neck shirt. Write an important email? Done. Plan important things? Done. Fill out a very important application? Done. Kill a man? Done. Okay maybe not the last one. Basically high necks equals high achievement.

2. Tea.
I'm not talking about your classic brew, oh no, I'm talking herbal tea. Now I'm not entirely sure of the health benefits or whether they are actually reliable but drink a herbal concoction in a mug and BAHM the day is yours. You are looking after yourself, hydrating your body and giving it the nutrients it deserves. Struggling to sleep? Drink chamomile tea. Does it actually relax you? I have no idea but I drink it before bed anyway.

3. Doing multiple adult things in one day.
Have you done the laundry? Have you done your weekly shop? All in the space of 24 hours? Well give yourself a gold star because you have achieved things today. You deserve that feeling of domestication and adulthood. You have proved you can clean your material possessions and feed yourself.

4. Fancy Coffee
Nothing scares me more than ordering something new at a coffee shop. Or going to a new coffee shop is enough to send me into anxiety over drive. Just let me go to Costa okay, I know what I want and I know how to say the unnecessarily fancy name. Or you can force me into Starbucks and make me order something I think want but I really have no clue what I just ordered and panicked unnecessarily when the barista asked for my name. Despite the anxiety ridden order, do you want to know the feeling I felt walking out of that store? Immense pride. Yeah, not only did I order my drink, but I also did it successfully. I can navigate this world. I am a successful human. I am also someone who will now order the same drink for months because who needs the stress? I just want a drink not a heart attack.

5. Tupperware
This basically boils down to making multiple meals in one go. Tupperware has never been so important to me until this year. If I didn't have the 20 boxes I own where would I put my lasagna? My Shepherds pie? My chili con carne? WHERE? I would basically starve and never have delicious food. Maybe this is a little dramatic but seriously, nothing is more satisfying than looking in your freezer and seeing all those meals you cooked successfully, like a real adult.





Revision is driving me crazy, and this post is the outcome of it. First year of university is almost over and I can't quite believe it. I don't think I'll ever be one of those real adults that can master life properly but I can wear a high neck shirt and definitely feel like one.

The Art of Concentration

My career in education has spanned over fourteen years, it would be natural to assume that I've become an expert in maintaining concentration. I'm going to be honest, the reality of the situation is that I often find myself staring at the blank wall, completely forgetting I had very important work to get done and staring at the mass of papers on my cork board is doing nothing to help. I think it's fair to assume most of us are like this. In the world of technology their are millions of distractions just coming from one tiny machine - our phone. (or in my case the wall which is neither new or as interesting as social media). 

A few weeks ago, I sat in a 'tips for revision session', not going to lie, I was excited for this session. Yes it was aimed at students three years younger than me but skills can be transferred across the years. The only downside? The person running this session graduated university in 1997. Now, this is where everything went wrong. If you want to give students tips on how to concentrate don't relate the stories back to your educational career because I can guarantee your experience was very different to what we are going through now. Adults like to do this fun thing where they insist that "we have it much better now" "exams were so much harder in our day". First of all: Don't listen to these people. They are wrong and misguided. Education isn't easier, it's just different. We are more aware that students learn differently and that education cannot be streamlined. Education has become more fair and inclusive. Nevertheless, someone who graduated UNIVERSITY in 1997 (aka 19 years ago) should not be telling me how to revise without getting distracted by my friends wanting to hang out, because you don't even have to leave your room now to talk to your friends. How anti-social. Needless to say this session was a bit of a disappointment.

I definitely believe university has developed my ability to independently learn. The reality of the situation is if I didn't do everything independently I wouldn't be learning very much. So here are a few tips I've found that help me study:

Tea.

A good cup of tea is the way to prepare the mind for studying. Or something like that. Personally, making a cup of tea is a good way to start doing your work. Make a cup, set it down at your desk, open up the computer and your ready to get started. It's also an excellent break time activity. Want to stop working for five minutes? Make a cup of tea. You leave your work station, move around a bit, and you hopefully get to chat with another human, if your near an animal you probably get to give that a cuddle. When I'm revising I drink so much tea it might be unhealthy, but I always find tea helps in every situation. (Obviously tea doesn't have to be the drink of choice)

Environment

Usually, I work at my desk in my room but recently (as mentioned in the starting paragraph) I've found myself getting distracted whilst sat at my desk. As problematic as this is (because I quite like my university room), I have found other areas that are great for working. For some reason this term I've found our living room a really good place to work in. In fact, I'm writing this in my lounge. Another good place is the library. Specifically the library in the evening after dinner. I sometimes spend two or three hours there in the evening and then come back to the flat, feeling extremely productive and then I feel happy to spend the rest of the night watching Netflix or hanging out with my flatmates. Obviously, wherever you chose to work, I've found my space has to be tidy. A messy work space is so inconvenient and distracting. Tidiness is the key thing here. Work in a tidy area and everything will be fine. 

                                                                                      Destroy Social Media. 

No, do not study in something that looks like this

Okay this is a bit dramatic but seriously. I have not perfected the "don't go on social media when working thing" but I'm trying. Just don't go on it. Tumblr is a dangerous thing and you can scroll mindlessly for hours and not notice. Just don't.

Breaks

Don't work for hours straight. just don't. Do you remember the tea thing? Yeah go make a drink or get a biscuit. Or lie on your floor for ten minutes and contemplate life. Whatever you want to do, go do it. For my birthday my friend gave me a colouring book which will be my break time activity for revision. The moment you start to feel tired and bored? Move away from your work. It will feel as if you're wasting time by taking breaks but you will work for much longer. Sometimes as a break I change study locations. I move from my flat to the library. That's a decent fifteen minute walk. 

                                                                                       Music

Doesn't this look so much better wow. 

Do you listen to music or not? To be honest I have no idea. I usually listen to music just because I find silence very distracting. But at the same time I do turn my music off because I need to concentrate in silence. Science probably has something to do with this. Spotify is great thing and I 100% reccomend downloading it, playing a playlist with unknown music is a great way to concentrate because you don't know the songs and you can find new artists. Multi-tasking right there. 

Friends

From past experience I've found studying with friends often results in conversation and no work. So at university I've just avoided it completely, unless we go to the quiet areas in the library because then there is no way for us to talk. 

Snacks

A good biscuit or grape is a good way to go here. If we're talking about food in general, plan to have really exciting food for lunch and dinner. That way you have something to look forward to. 

Stationary

I love a good set of stationary, nothing gets me more excited to be honest. Just have nice pens and notebooks. it will make everything look and feel better. 

Time and Perspective

It's like time is slipping through my fingers. The moments between September and March feel like nothing at all. I'm desperately trying to press pause, just to get everything to slow down so that I can keep up. It's like I'm constantly in a crowd of thousands. They're bustling and pushing and rushing for no reason at all. But the reality of the situation is that I'm sat with maybe five people in a very large room but I can't seem to focus. Autopilot is activated and I don't know how to stop it.

I look back to August, when I lived in the town that had been my home for eighteen years. Everything was the same and it was so frustrating. The streets used to have me longing for something different and new. I wanted to get out and do something exciting. I now look back and feel fear. I wanted this change and wanted it to happen now. Well it is now. Now everything around me is different but also nothing has changed. I'm not entirely sure what I'm looking for. What I have now is 'it' but it also isn't 'it'. I don't even know what 'it' is. I feel both overwhelmed and underwhelmed.

Writer and poet Jorge Luis Borges wrote a short story describing his two selves. I can't help but relate. It's as if there are two of me, the person everyone see's and then the thoughts inside my head that just can't belong to the same individual. People throw around adjectives and I just can't connect them. The string is broken, frayed and torn. And then I remember that society teaches girls to think negatively about themselves and maybe I'm just a product of that teaching. I know it's wrong but 18 years of practice and I should almost be perfect. Everything is fine really, but I sometimes lose myself and its like I've returned back to 2010. I think I know who the 'real' me is but I also think I'm taking this way too seriously.

I'm trying to outgrow the 'looking negatively at life' thing but watching others live with closed minds and narrow hearts tires me out. Watching people who've grown up with so much more than I have, and have had so many benefits to their life but still can't see the positive in situations is exhausting.

I'm slowly realising that trying to get these people to think differently is futile.

The negative mindset is addictive and dangerous. But then again reminding yourself that no matter how hard life feels, being alive is amazing and exciting can't be so difficult. Or maybe the ability to separate one's self from a situation and evaluate it is a skill I'm taking for granted. Maybe a little more human understanding is in order.

I've learned that most things are mind over matter. The mind tends to overreact and exaggerate everything. Time moves whether you want it to and something that caused life to look so bleak and dark will hopefully turn into light one day. No matter how much I look back to August, I don't really want to be back there. And although it absolutely terrifies me, the speed at which my life is travelling is exciting. It means I have to get things done before my time here runs out.

I'm almost a year older, and although I wrote a letter to my younger self last year, I can already see differences between that author and the person writing this today.

Time is strange, but perspective is even stranger.

Why Student Grants Matter.

Last week less twenty MP's voted to scrap student maintenance grants. Currently half a million students receive money from the government in the form of a maintenance grant. I am included in that figure.

I knew from the get go that going to university would result in debt. I knew that. Due to my families financial situation I realised I would receive the highest amount of money in regards to the maintenance loan and grant. This also means when I leave university in three years I will be in more debt than my peers. 

The maintenance grant I receive is basically what I use to pay for necessities like food, tea and books. My student loan is spent on my accommodation fees. The money I receive in the form of a grant basically keeps me alive and allows me to purchase resources necessary for study. The grant allowed me to move away from home and go to my first choice university without having to live on beans and toast crying about finances for three years. 

Sure, scrapping the maintenance grant won't really effect students, they'll get the money in loan form. They won't be getting 'less' money. To be quite honest this view is very basic and only takes into account the short term. Yes the fact the poorer students won't be getting less money is a good thing, of course it is. It's the debt they'll be in afterwards that will cause issues. Poorer students will be in significantly higher dept than someone from a wealthier background. How is this fair? How is this not going to put people off from attending university? (Listen, David Cameron I know you're still confident that students will still apply to university but stop)

University should be available for everyone, despite their financial situation. I personally would not have been able to attend any university, and definitely not the Russell Group university I got into, if I wasn't receiving a student loan and grant. Going to university was a dream I  held for at least a decade. The issue surrounding money didn't concern me until about 2012 when tuition fees increased to £9000. Even then I still wanted to go, I knew student loans existed and because my cousins had recently attended. I knew the payment system wasn't too harsh. I've accepted that in 3 years I will leave with over £40,000 in student debt and that's not even counting the interest. 

The fact is some students entering education in 2016 will have higher debt that that is unthinkable and so unfair. Would I be rethinking attending university if I was in their position? Absolutely. This decision to remove grants will effect thousands of people and should not have been in the hands of so few individuals.

I'm not sure what it's like to go to university knowing that money won't be an issue, and most of my friends don't either. We're in our first year and at least half of the people I know have already gone into their overdraft due to high accommodation and living costs. Yes, the student maintenance grants cost the tax payer 1.5bn per year but surely it is better to invest money into the higher education of our young people rather than in other areas (*cough*  Syria air strikes and the trident programme *cough*). 

More information:

Redbrick (Yes I wrote this, yes this is my university newspaper)

The Independent 

The Guardian 

Long Time No See

Read the following section very carefully, this was written by a girl who had hopes. Had dreams. Had positive expectations for the next few hours. She was definitely planning on typing the blog post up the moment she arrived back at university. This is being typed three days later so you can only imagine the ending to this story.


I've been spending a lot of time on trains recently. In fact, I'm on a train right now writing this. What a cliche. It probably doesn't help that I have my hair in what can only be described as a messy bun and I'm also wearing a huge scarf and dungarees. 

It's November and I can no longer ignore the fact I am officially a university student. Studying for a degree like a human with educational ambitions and what not. I suppose it would feel more real if I had more contact hours and didn't spend 90% of time in a state of "well I hope this is correct someone please help me." I'm basically paying £9000 to sit alone a read books, what a good use of money. 

Back to the train situation - I am really not built for this travelling malarkey. I am probably on several peoples hit list for bashing them with my bags. I am small, it's difficult to reach the overhead shelves okay angry adults that glare at me??

That being said, I don't particularly hate trains - just the fact I have to carry heavy bags everywhere. It doesn't stop me though. For instance today I'm heading back to university with a heavy rucksack and two more heavy bags. I will definitely regret this when I get back to my flat with aching limbs and tears running down my face.

Height is proving to be both an issue on trains and at university. I am convinced my flat was built specifically for the taller individuals walking among us because I can't open any of the windows without having to stand on some sort of furniture (kitchen work surface, toilet, bed for example)

I've also decided to become a parent of two tiny cacti. I've been told they will grow into larger cacti which is a bit daunting if I'm honest. I also haven't watered them since I bought them a month ago - maybe I'm not ready to be a parent just yet.



That, my friends is where train Megan leaves us. She got hungry and then listened to a podcast.

Back to where this all went a little wrong and stressful. If I had less luggage it might have been a bit easier, but I thought it would be clever to bring a good few books back to university and destroy my arms. Pulling up to the second stop of the journey, we were informed that on the line ahead a train had broken down and we had to wait until it had been fixed. I wasn't particularly alarmed by this, I was in no rush and my electronics had sufficient charge - I would have happily sat there for an hour or so to be quite honest. Ten minutes later, we were pretty much told that we were going to have to get on another train to reach Birmingham aka my destination. Now, I had no excuse but to follow everyone off the train to find the other platform (which may I add was extremely far away and I was beginning to regret the bags the moment I attempted to climb the stairs).

Long story short, I ended up catching four trains that day, arriving back to the flat an hour late wanting to sleep for about five years after struggling with my bags. May I also add a police officer on a bike passed me whilst I was struggling and all he had to say was "your bags look heavy" like really thank you for that observation kind sir I'm so glad you are protecting our streets. Jokes, police are good keep doing whatever you do and please help tired teenage girls carrying heavy bags.

All this made me forget to write up my blog post but here I am, typing, for you. To be honest, university in general has caused forgetfulness in relation to this blog. Big changes equals no writing apparently.

Although, I have been writing, I write for the university newspaper, Redbrick (www.redbrick.me plug plug plug). I'm a news writer now, how official.

I still haven't watered the Cacti and all that reading I'm paying £9000 for? Yeah I have a lot of it to do right now. I also need to go to the shop to buy things for vegetable lasagne. Meals that make 6 meals in one go is my new favourite thing, by the way.